Lets try 2 b positive here:
But using "try" js feels wrong..
it should be: Lets think positive
or... lets be honest. Js sit back and look.

I am truly blessed. While I believe that
as truth intellectually, it can be difficult
to feeel that from the heart.
The last time i remember FEELING that
was when I was on a sbs bus during JC,
and the sun was out... perhaps in a tad
of a dreamy state- i remember writing
"the birds sing, the trees are always
green and sun warms those below it"
- to that effect...

What i have to be thankful for:
1) I was born with no physical nor mental
disabilities
2) I have never had real financial worries
3) My parents are good people
4) Hv never been pressured seriously
to do anyth - freedom?
5) Im kind of smart - tho ive learnt tt
nt as smart as i thot i was... Alhtough sometimes
I wonder, perhaps it was simply I didnt develop
myself - too complacent and let the early start
take me most of the way rather than run more on
me on steam...

tho these things become abit of a pressurising/
depressing thing. The though emerges: with these things
shouldnt I be something more now?
of course, whats done is done - i should js move forward
and change what I want to change while accepting myself.

its so strange- perhaps all of us are indeed inflicted, to
varying extents, of this strange contradtion - of feeling
insecure and disagreeable to the world, while at the same time
possessing an arrogant over-confidence that the world belongs
to us and we are better than others.

"Those that have time to think and pontificate upon life
are not exerting enough effort in simply living it"
wt u think?

***

Man i realy quite liked the Full Metal Alchemist movie...
alot of ppl were bitching on line and bashing it -
valid feelings
but seemed like abt half of em didnt like it cos
winry didnt end up wif ed n al...
it was cool 2 see the gang together-
n i think they did a pretty good job of wrapping up
the characters lives post TV series
Poor Roy Mustang-
Former Brigadier General and Colonel - nw a Corporal
based in some rural wintry guard post...
I wonder wt happned - some dude on animesuki forum
was referring to Roy's choice - self imposed isolation as
suggested by his speech in the movie:
and wondring y he did so...

I m thinkg wt happn 2 him after the series:
It appeared to me, in Ep 51 of the series, that he
had left the military along with Liza Hawkeye
and were living a nice couple's life. Tho evidently,
Liza never left - still a full lieutenant she is.
And they aren't living together... shucks..
Ok - these are the possible occurences:

1) He left the military dishonorably, either of his own volition
or was discharged to do so after his Rebellion; and proceeded
to sign on as an enlisted soldier - therefore, 2 years down
the road he is still only a corporal. Given the rebllion
on his track record- it is likely tt the military will never agn
give him a command - even a NCO position might be too much.

2) He stayed on but was demoted because of the rebellion,
but was given some option in his posting because of his former position.

It is unlikely that he is connected to the Furher' disappearance,
cos if he were- theyd probly hv jailed or hung the bugger rite?
so watever penalties he pays has to be cos of the rebellion.

An unlikely scenario, tho nice to think, is that
3) He left the military honorably, somehw convincing those in authority
of the justness of his actions and is merely pretending, perhaps in
agreement of the military leaders, to be a corporal... nahh-
no justification 4 this...

But so sad... hw many rank drop man...
BG>Colonel>LTC>Major>Captain>1st LT>2ndLT (or ensign)>WO>Sgt Major>Sgt>CPL
skipping many other intermediary ranks...
i wonder if he'll leave the military after tt... or mebe
hel get some credit 4 defending the attack agst HQ at the end of the film
but its so cool n funny tt his former subordinates leapt to it
when he marched in the scene and started organising the defence:
"The colonel's back!" - the funny bit, is Havoc going "Oho, the corporal's giving orders!"
He n Liza should js quite n go fark like bunnies...ok tts random..
seriously tho, the romantic element suggested at the end of the series
was reduced in the film...
It is possible tho, tt after Roy's recovery, he simply couldnt handle/resolve
his past failures from Ishbal to Hughes and of course, to Ed's disappearance...

It is almost Defn tho, tt Roy is simply used sortof as a plot/thematic device-
Ed returns and so does Roy to his former self/world
achieving closure.

Armstrong appears to hv left the military n is running for some
political/admin position at Lior...

situating much of the movie in 1920s Germany is pretty cool-
nt a pleasant choice, but it was done well methinks. I learnt some Nazi n
Hitler history from tt, assisted by the great wikipedia...
its the crossing of real and imaginary tts cool - to think tt
perhaps we obtained our knowledge of nuclear weaponry fr Amestris- Ed's world
n perhaps they had some hand in stopping WWII
I wonder wt happns to Alter-Hughes n Alter-Glacier...
much of these r pretty clearly fan service-
Sigh - is it the proof of a disturbed and inadequate mind tt im fixating on this?
Anime fans r scary things... tho i think cosplayers R even scarier ... brrr
no offence but sometimes js looks weird...
some stuff js doesnt translate well to reality...
bera bera.... ahh stoppp
sien...
i wan money

***

Sometimes, dont u feel like slitting someones, and our own, throat?
in a v cool anime-assasin kinda way?
it proli js a desire for power kinda thing...
desire nt 2 b manipulated but to manipulate- to exist
on ur own power... OWARI